I am currently marveling at this mind's ability to create new attachments, despite my efforts otherwise.
There is a chunk of money coming my way soon, in regards to an inheritance. Early estimates gave me a certain figure, and since there are so many things in life that require money, I went and started a list of things, and trying to establish priorities. I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NOT GET ATTACHED!!! "Purely informational", I told myself!
I know now that was a "rookie mistake". I suspect many of you are getting a good laugh.
Well, the final number is quite a bit lower, which then eliminates many of the items on my list. So, now I sit with disappointment and a little anger. All over something that never existed in the first place. Amazing.
I am so very thankful for the role of the dharma in my life now.submitted by paulexander
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The Buddha is claimed to have promoted impermanence of all conditioned phenomena.
In the mahayana tradition, the Buddha is said to be permanent.
Are the mahayana sutras signifying that Buddha is unconditioned and hence permanent?
Edit: It is also said that everything that comes together must come apart. Does this mean the Buddha's imageless spirit never came together?submitted by obliviron
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These sorts of thing, if you keep studying about them, keep tying you up in complications. They don’t come to an end in this way. They keep getting complicated. With the Dhamma, it’s not the case that you’ll awaken because someone else tells you about it. You already know that you can’t get serious about asking whether this is that or that is this. These things are really personal. We talk just enough for you to contemplate…
It’s like a child who’s never seen anything. He comes out to the countryside and sees a chicken. “Daddy, what’s that over there?” He sees a duck. “Daddy, what’s that?” He sees a pig. “Daddy, what’s that over there?” The father gets tired of answering. The more he answers, the more the child keeps asking—because he’s never seen these things. After a while, the father simply says, “Hmm.” If you keep playing along with the child’s every question, you die of fatigue. The child doesn’t get fatigued. Whatever it sees, “What’s that? What’s this?” It never comes to an end. Finally the father says, “When you grow bigger, you’ll know for yourself.”
That’s the way it is with meditation. I used to be like that. I really was. But when you understand, there are none of those questions. You’ve grown up. So be intent on contemplating until you understand, and things will gradually unravel themselves. That’s the way it is. Keep watch over yourself as much as you can. Keep watch over yourself as much as you can, to see if you’re lying to yourself. That’s what’s called keeping watch over yourself.
~Ajahn Chahsubmitted by dependentarising
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hey guys so here's a rundown. I've been Buddhist for quite a few years now and have a firm grasp of it. but the problem is I have severe anxiety and equally bad OCD (with BPD in the mix to. oh joy!) I find it interferes with meditation quite a bit. my thoughts never stop no matter what and it makes me feel like a bad Buddhist. I worry about so much and I fear that I am unable to follow Buddha's teachings. what should I do? do any of you deal with this? also what are your general views on medication?submitted by GraySpade
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Buddha said compassion and love towards every living being is the way to lead a content life. Also said, attachment is the reason for all suffering. In piratical life however, I don't see how one can be so affectionate, and still remain detached from everything that exists. Thoughts?submitted by brownmanthings
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Why is taking rebirth as an animal considered to be worse than taking rebirth as a human if we are equal beings?
Hopefully my question makes sense. I have been reading "Buddhism for beginners" by Thubten Chodron and have come across a section that I don't quite understand.
"In cyclic existence, sentient beings take rebirth in any of six types of life forms. Some of these life forms - hellish ones, hungry ghosts, and animals - experience more suffering than happiness. Other life forms - humans, demi-gods, and gods - are considered relatively happy births".
Sorry for my ignorance, but I thought all sentient beings were equal. And if this is true then why would rebirth from a human to an animal be considered not a happy rebirth? How is the degree of suffering or happiness measured?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
-Jsubmitted by Jem94
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I frequently find myself either in situations or thinking about situations where someone else has either a possession or an experience that I've never had or don't currently have, and I find myself instantly feeling strong negative emotions that are like a mix of anger, urgency and a sense that something isn't fair. I guess that compound of feelings is jealousy or envy. But when I focus on that feeling without judgment, it goes away after a whole until the next time I think about it deliberately or accidentally.
My question is, how can I stop that instant reaction, and replace it with being happy for that person or being content with my lack of that thing or experience?submitted by besselheimPlate
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Do you ever get the impression that a lot of love isn't love but deep attachment and even a form of addiction?
I heard someone say about the death of someone, "Sorry for your loss," and I immediately was overwhelmed with this idea that sorrow seems selfish (Mine? Loss?). When said like that it really feels like we're almost addicted to our loved ones and the memories we share with them like one of the most valued possessions we treasure. I don't want to make it seem like there's something wrong with this. It may make me a crappy Buddhist for saying so haha but I feel like a little attachment can be quite positive and even be beneficial to self-esteem and well-being. Bukowski said to find what you love and let it kill you and truthfully I feel like there are plenty of healthy addictions out there to "let kill you," almost all of which with the right mindset will really help us with our sense of belonging and purpose in all of this. Running, woodworking, an awesome spouse, a dog, can all be attachments that help us feel sometimes complete and sometimes empty, and help us experience all the awesome emotions life grants us (even the ones that hurt really bad are awesome to be able to experience).
But to go back to the main idea it seems to me that "true love," whatever that means is just a complete and extreme acceptance of those around us. This type of love doesn't feel nearly as intimate, though. But the feelings that tey are "my" wife or mom or dog isn't love but attachment IMO. The whole, "If you love something set it free" kind of exemplifies what how I'm looking at this. You love them no matter what they do, but you're also really attached to them as being "yours", you know?
In the end everything is what it is but for discussions sake where do you think love ends and attachment begins? Where do you think attachment ends and addiction begins or do you see that much of a difference between the two?submitted by EternalOptimist829
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I was thrown into quite the difficult situation with some very difficult people (including but not limited to a hoarder). The situation has reached a crucial point of not enough time, too much to do, and people breaking each others hearts.
I need to step up, get stuff done and make things healthier for a majority of people despite the possibility of being hated or even sabotaged.
I am a very emotional person that gets stuck in the feeling of stress, sometimes unable to remember mindfulness or meditation. I am looking for guidance and tips on how I can remove myself from some of the situation emotionally (if that is recommended or possible of course) and to keep myself calm and aware of the optimistic side of the situation, and good meditation videos or tutorials to help create an element easier to fall into.
Feel free to pm me. I look forward to your support.
Thank you very much.
Edit: please feel free to let me know if I did not post this correctly.submitted by AIWSufferer
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Why do people allow me to stay close to them? After I treat people badly, disrespect and ignore them, why do they allow me to come back? I don't intentionally treat people with disrespect, I just get pulled in so many directions I don't know what to do. I get lost in a whirlwind. I hate to disappoint or offend. To prevent these from happening, I ignore. If I don't contact you, I cannot disappoint you. I want everyone to be happy, even if their happiness comes at my own expense.
I drink to silence the voice in my head. It could be equated to an extreme level of self conciousness, and I want to dull the senses. I do so many things that other people do which I judge myself so hard for. I hold myself up to an image of perfection, and anything that does not achieve this perfect ideal becomes a flaw in my character which drags me deep down.
I am happy when I am with people I am comfortable with, with people I trust and respect. I feel that I am very perceptive and truly understand what most people I know are like on a deep level. Whether they are happy or lonely, apathetic or scared. Sometimes I think I try to paint this picture of myself that I am in fact apathetic, that I do not care. But there couldn't be anything further from the truth.. I care so much that it kills me, it drains me and exhausts me.
I think that life truly is a gift. I think just a few months or a year ago I would not have admitted that.. In fact I would have fervently opposed it, I would have attempted some argument about the harm of existence or the non existence of morality.
I need to breathe and to slow down. To love and to listen. I need to care but learn how to say no, to understand that others feelings may become hurt but realize that ignoring them is the most painful agony you can inflict on somebody who cares for you.
I need to find what gives me meaning. I do not think there is inherent meaning in anything, I think it is my duty to imbue life with meaning. It could be anything at all, but whatever I find that moves me, that completely captivates my attention and creativity, I will excel in it beyond all others capabilities.
I have an ego and some narcissistic tendencies. If I pass a mirror I feel compelled to look into it. I will find some flaw; something to correct and feel that this is what's everyone is going to judge me on. It is absurd. People will continue to be my friend whether or not I have a pimple on my chin or on my jaw. People will continue to be my friend if my hair is messed up and not how I envisioned it looking.
I genuinely space out a lot. I look at my phone, see a text and think about a response. God knows what reason I won't respond.. Perhaps because I know if I do, the conversation will continue. If it continues then at some point down the line I feel like it will end, and it will end because I will end it and I will disappoint. It seems prudent then to just end the conversation right from the beginning.
I think the DUI three years ago finally shattered my illusion of perfection. For years I had been unconsciously hard on myself, but I never brought it to the light. When I got a DUI, there was no more hiding it. I unraveled, I knew that I was not perfect. It scared me, it made me severely depressed as I believed that without perfection I had somehow lost meaning. Perhaps getting the DUI was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.. It's has drawn fate down a different corridor, it's has brought me to this moment now where I feel much more light and free.
I unconsciously began every paragraph with 'I' - what does that mean? ; )submitted by SnowySunrise
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Forgive me if I come off as naïve... So I've become interested in Buddhism lately, after following a path of learning from yoga and meditation.
Today I came upon a question, hopefully y'all can shed some insight here.
Buddhism seems to me to preach complacency. Being happy with what is. Being content with the present. Realizing that life is suffering, or disappointment, and moving towards coming to terms with that. It seems to say find happiness or bliss in the disparity, rather than encouraging us to seek or make a change.submitted by obscuroaborae
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