Let me preface this by saying I don't know a whole lot about buddhism.
I am an agnostic. Spirituality, to me, comes from within your subconscious mind - if you think about what you're going to accomplish and visualize that goal, your brain will work on it harder and it will happen. For example, if you tried to swish a basketball from the 3 point line quickly, you'll probably miss. But if you visualize how the ball will travel into the net as you throw it and take your time and concentrate, there's a much better chance that it will happen.
Like I said, I am an agnostic but I like to take the good parts of every religion and incorporate them into my own life. But yesterday was just too good to be true.
Every single thing seemed to fall right into place, each puzzle piece perfectly oriented and positioned in the puzzle. There were too many to count, but I remember one in specific - when I got on the bus, my friend I just made gave me 3 bucks because I needed to borrow it to get to the next city up.
Then I found $3 in my back pocket that I knew I had at some point but lost track of. I tried to give it to the guy who loaned me the money but he said to just keep it.
Oh, and there was a big sign in red on a street only 2 turns away from mine called LYLE NAILS. Which is interesting because I just got a manicure/pedicure at a place in Boulder.
Also, I had never seen my name on a sign ANYWHERE.
Also, it was relevant to me because earlier in my life my band wouldn't let me paint my nails on stage, which fucking sucked but I'm past it now.
I have bipolar, so I had to stop myself from getting paranoid, but I'm pretty good at noticing that now, so it worked out and I'm gonna go check out the nail place today.
What is this? Where does it come from? And why did I have so many on the same day? My answer would be a scientific approach to manifestation - your subconscious helping your conscious mind by remembering important information and what not. I've been feeling happy, confident, excited, motivated, ambitious, slightly risk-taking, adventurous , and everything else that comes with genuine happiness. Is this just what life is like when you're happy? I don't think so, because I've been happy for about 2 months and this is the first day that REALLY stood out to me.
But I wanna know the view of people on here. Please someone tell me what's going on!submitted by SpecialSauceSal
If samsara has no beginning, how has everything not already happened including all of us becoming enlightened? Given the infinite monkey theorem and no beginning to the universe, every being should have reached nirvana. Also has there always been an imbalance in karma? Because if no one deserved anything karmically, how could anything have happened to anyone?submitted by SenorPsychonaut
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The back-story here is long, so let me reduce it as simply as possible: my current girlfriend has/had an emotional dependence on one of my close friends. This manifested the following things: (A) though they were past casual sex partners before I came into the picture, they did have sex again after I had made it clear to her that I would be uncomfortable with her hooking up with my friend again, and my friend did already know I was essentially infatuated with her and had sex with her anyway, (B) she confided in him a lot of private details well into our relationship, including hinting she wanted him in a bedroom threesome scenario, (C) I found this out during a period when she locked me out emotionally and was messaging him a lot online -- I pulled a subset of their conversations and learned A/B.
This hurt deeply. All parties agree at this point that it was disrespectful to me, it was predictable it was going to hurt me, and my own girlfriend has just recently come to admit she knows she has a dependence on my friend that becomes unhealthy at times (it's hard to explain, but it is a third-party confirmed need for validation from him).
I made up with him shortly after, but the weaker insecure parts of myself mounted against me, armed with the very real reality that my girlfriend is dependent on my friend, and the "analytical perspective" that unhealthy conversations (or drunken activity?) could happen again. The worst part in accepting the weakness of others is to know it can happen again and their weakness can hurt me -- this is one of several blocking points for me.
I regressed and withdrew. I no longer spoke with my friend, and left our mutual friend circle. They did not like this, and my girlfriend was a part of it, so manifested pressure on me to resolve it. I did. I lashed out (via email!) at my friend, detailing his prior moral misgivings (he's facilitated cheating in the past), and in the most hurtful way possible, explained he and my girlfriend were weak and I have no desire to re-initiate friendship, but would remain amicable in social situations.
That's kinda where I am still at. Less pain/hurt, but people pry on me to re-initiate friendship and I embody the aggressive, quick-thinking, overly-analytical guy that sees nothing to gain in friendship with him. I become something of a narcissist, seeing the weakness in others and putting myself above them when they seek the higher ground of "just get over it" (granted, in their own reasonably positive ways). I am well-armed in that I am a pretty good guy -- I had even asked my friend before every hooking up with his casual sex partner (my now-girlfriend) if it was ok with him. I have a wonderful mountain to defend from.
Naturally, this is more complex than I make it out to be -- it may be colored by some innate resentment toward him (he's a good looking guy and can embed deep emotional hooks in women -- the kind of guy competitive males love to hate). We've presumably been "best friends", which I seem to not waiver on when describing my past relationship with him. I have over-idealized women in the past and been hurt by an irrational perspective on them and my own nice guy delusions. I am still finding my place in this world, and have the usual spotty childhood/teenagehood.
The thing is this: I have compartmentalized the problem to the degree that it does not needlessly hurt anymore. I stick to my contract that I will not make it uncomfortable for anyone in social circumstances, though it is an elephant in the room. I move to intercept the darker sides of me that try to respond when I am pressured by anyone to any degree to re-initiate the friendship. My best strategy is to defer with a "oh, yes, I see and accept your perspective" I'm-ok-you're-ok kind of vibe.
But, I can move no further. I do not want my friend in actual physical proximity to my girlfriend. I could almost hang out with him 1 on 1, but to think about mixing them together activates pain, followed by an aggressive form of myself that has impenetrable rationalizations to keep him away. To know her weakness (and his own passive acceptance of her weakness and facilitating it in the past) is to guard her from the thing that I suspect would be her undoing (him). He's genetically superior to me (insecurity), has the deep emotional hooks established that she's only just now undoing (more insecurity), and needs the sexual validation of women (passive, but perceived motive to do it again). The cold-hearted warrior in my head says he's best left in my past -- and in doing so, I protect the part of me that hurts the most at the thought of what happened.
The thought game of letting them together again as friends extends another interesting direction: if it happened again, I am really afraid of what it'd do to my psyche. It is part fear of it happening again (i.e. fundamental distrust), and part not wanting to be the naive boy-like figure I was before (I blame myself partly for not seeing this was going to happen, and not being quicker to embody the part of me that is willing to call people out on things that bother me -- i.e. her dependence on him).
I can comprehend the strategies laid out to forgive, but as I continue to receive social pressure to forgive, I cannot really do it. I cannot tell if the sometimes seemingly wise voice in me that wants to keep these two people apart is driven by the depths of unhealthy insecurity, or of real, sound advice.
It seems to reduce to this: as I learn to control my emotional being and choose to embody certain versions of myself that seem healthier, is it so wrong to compartmentalize my ex-friend away, knowing that in time the pain may fade? To put him in a holding pattern with no real decision as to the fate of our past relationship? To choose not to confront that part of me that's almost child-like and is the one that feels the deep betrayal / hurt / pain?
I can willingly embody the part of me that sees the grand perspective and how little this matters, but I cannot hold on to this. The other parts of me have excellent analytical skills to rationalize away this feel-good facade. The wise warrior tells me to protect myself from the potential for more pain, and to live the relatively happy life where I am in love with her. The happy life where I don't have to see my old friend. To see him and my girlfriend joking together or reminiscing about old times. To pick a reality that brings less pain and positively appease those who seek to draw me out of it with soothing words, but avoid coming back into contact with our mutual friend I've cast out.
I feel intuitively I will come to a place where it does not hurt anymore. It will sink on that the reality of the world is that we do hurt each other, and sometimes it's going to manifest as sex between two people, or sexual conversations between them (sort of how the insecure social-development-lagged nerd I once was found insecurity in the idea that women could lust after <insert pop star who isn't you here>, or the even more deluded reality where you can't cope with the ex-boyfriends your girlfriend had, trapped in the insecurity of wondering if you satisfy her well enough -- things I am semi-familiar with). I just don't know if it is wrong of me not to take up the old sword and shield of personal development and rebuild our friendship as my friends/girlfriend suggest I should. I feel like I don't owe that to anyone, including myself. I do not know if I am wrong.
Sorry, clearly super confusing for me, but hopefully this is coherent. Thanks for any perspectives.submitted by hardtoletgoanger485
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So GF breaks up with me, says some very hurtful things. We were both at fault I won't try to act like it was all her, probably 50/50. Breaks my heart, but says she still wants to be friends. What would be the best way to approach this using a Buddhist perspective?
Put my own thoughts aside and appease her with friendship? Cut her out and wish her the best and move on? Other option...?
I try to be the best person I can be, so the thought of cutting her out, while at the moment sounds great, doesn't feel right. But giving her what she wants (friendship) when it's not what I want (relationship back) just seems like it would lead to more heartbreak. Any thoughts, comments, questions are all greatly appreciated. Thanks!submitted by Eco_System
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TL;DR: 13 and want to go to a Buddhist temple. Have hardcore Christian parents that don't know. Unsure of what to do.
Hello, I am currently 13 and have always been very interested in Buddhism. I remember when I was little, whenever I saw pictures of Buddha I would point to them and say "daddy I want to be in that religion". He would always so NO, we believe in God, and any talk of other religions would end immediately. On the topic of parents: My parents take me to an orthodox church every Saturday and Sunday averaging about 3 hours per week. They have no idea I don't believe in God and that I am interested in Buddhism, and I do not plan on telling them. So here's the dilemma; I am interested in going to a Theravada Buddhist temple near my house, however I am very nervous. I have been researching Buddhism thoroughly for about a week now and I really want to see what it's really like. They have a website and it says they have monks and nuns frequently visit there to do meditation sessions and such. My concerns are: a) It's Viatnamese so they won't understand me b) People might tell me to go away because they think I am a trouble maker c) I'm shy when it comes to new people so I would have a hard time explaining why I'm there d) They will tell me to go away because I do not have my parents with me
So what should I do? Should I just wait until I am older? Should I take my chances and go? Or should I do something else entirely? Any and all feedback is appreciated.
EDIT: Thank you SOO much everyone for the feedback. I will consider every bit of it and try to put it into use.submitted by Cogito_Infinitum
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I've been Buddhist for a while now and I really enjoy meditation. I have gone on a couple of walking meditations which were fantastic and really suited me but are very time consuming. I try to meditate every morning before school but I just fall asleep when my alarm goes off. Side note not related to meditation really but having issues with smoking also which I think gets in the way of my practice.submitted by TheOvercastMan
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I realize some people don't take it seriously enough, but it seems to weigh too heavily on me. Especially because I have a lot of repressed pain. What are some tips to put it into perspective, so that I can enjoy it more? Would hate (oh noes aversion, you get my point now? :P) to maintain a bad relationship with my practice.submitted by CrazyStupidNSmart
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Many might consider this not in line with the purpose of this subreddit, and should I get enough feedback in that direction, I will certainly delete this post. But, with that said, I figured it is (perhaps) worth posting.
The late Shamar Rinpoche has said, in an interview (I can't recall the source), that he hoped to be able to help many animals (in his next incarnation) who are severely mistreated and abused in today's world.
I am currently reading "No Happy Cows" by John Robbins (by no means a specifically buddhist book), and the way animals are treated in our world today, especially in America (and other parts of the industrialized world, as well, as far as I know), is absolutely horrific and disgusting. Beyond belief.
If anyone is interested in the topic, I would suggest reading this book or looking into the topic in general. At the very least, perhaps mantras would be beneficial on some level, for those who partake in such an activity.
As an aside, I am a physician and think that from a health perspective (as well as an environmental perspective) this is an important topic in addition to the ethics/karma involved. It is frankly unbelievable.submitted by ahoyhoyhey
I have been studying Advaita Vedanta lately. The essential teaching is that Atman (Individual soul), is identical to Brahman (Cosmic soul). The path to liberation is to realize that Atman and Brahman are identical, and they were never separate.
Isn't this just another interpretation of Anatta? A self implies other, and Brahman has no other, Brahman is existence. Atman and Brahman are not separate in any way, the sense of separation lives in a dualistic thought. The purpose of this path is essentially to realize no-self, or suchness. They just don't call it that. Maybe i don't understand, but this sounds a lot like Buddhism. What are the main differences?submitted by sarkujpnfreak42
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I came here looking for a cool place to discuss ideas on Buddhism and hopefully get some questions answered, but I get so turned off by how rude and pretentious people seem to be that I don't even want to post any questions or responses in fear of ridicule for not knowing something. Some of you are awesome, and I appreciate your responses and I love reading your posts, but others of you are very ironically egotistical. I don't mean to call some people out or cause drama, I just think this should be a place for curious people to ask respectful questions, so they deserve respectful answers. Maybe I'm alone on this, but at least in my experience, I get really discouraged really quickly on this page.submitted by staythestranger
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I was hoping to get some insight at /r/Buddhism. I'm going back to school to complete a bachelors degree in IT, but I'm having a hard time removing fear and self doubt from my mind.
Meditation has become more of a difficult task recently, as I have been unable to clear my thoughts.
I'm terrible at math, but I very much want to work in IT. Working with computers is a joy for me.
Do you guys have any advice, or another perspective for me?
Sorry if this isn't the right place to ask..submitted by RevesAvalon
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Checked out an open house yesterday. The meditation instructions seemed legit. Anyone else have experience with this place?
What weirded me out was that the books for sale weren't necessarily Buddhist texts. They were "Shambhala" publications, including the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
Shambhala publications also include books such as the Art of War and the Book of Five Rings. These were not for sale but form part of the organization's publications. How is this Buddhist?submitted by Performlikemike
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